Funky Ten

	*Here's the Renaissance man Thomas Smith, doing his impression of "American Gothic"* with the doody shovel and the tiki torch....** .
Tom's Top Ten list of quotable quotes from the RiverMadness weekend...
10. "Do I need to braise these ribs AGAIN?"
9. "Babies have got it made"
8. " I see you've got your mountain bike with ya there" (while paddling down the river, the gang encountered 2 kids on mountain bikes--riding in the river!!!)
7. " we're gonna go get some ice...be back in half an hour" (pictures of Steve & Shayla are absent because they were gone to get ice and got lost...)
6. " there doesn't seem to be a lot of genetic diversity among the locals"
5. " We saw the tiki torch out front, but thought it might be a trick"
4. "You don't need to know the big picture...just your small part in it"
3. " I'd sooner leave Beth behind than this Taylor guitar!" (The second picture illustrates what happens to a Taylor guitar when wrapped around the neck of the husband who unwittingly made the above remark...)
2. "...and yet another unexplained phenomenon on the river today"
1. " Ya know...if you really want chicks to come down here, you might wanna think about building a crapper

Top 10 Things You'll Only See at RiverMadness and nowhere else .....
10. Spring-fed river water is rather chilly-- temperatures are very nipply for the ladies and are rumored to cause severe shortages for the menfolk...
9. Deb "roughing it" by wearing a dress and going out for coffee in the morning....and Ike letting Deb take his bed in the RV....
8. The creation of the perfect SMORE by John..."be one with the marshmallow!!!" According to Tom, an inferior product would be considered a SLESS.
7. An up-close and personal snorkeling encounter with a manatee....
6. Tom telling Suz that she's gotten soft in her old age by bringing a flocked mattress inflated with a special pump from a cigarette lighter, a -40 below zero test Holofil sleeping bag, several pillows and a camp toilet...of course, he was bunking in the RV at the time.....
5. Men wandering thru the camp at night with strange lights emanating from their foreheads..."it leaves BOTH hands free!"
4. Shayla's whippet, Montana, normally a very active dog, floating down the river on a tube with her head hanging over the side, totally blissed out....
3. Ike doing the "Breakfast Burrito Assembly Demonstration" while explaining his unique idea for the perfect toilet paper...all he needs is the right marketing....
2. When you ask John to light a fire and expect him to use the Boy Scout Method with flint and stone. Instead, he throws a cup of Coleman fuel on the logs, tosses in a match and wonders what that strange smell is when his eyebrows singe....
1. Steve broke his foot, but instead of unwieldy crutches, he has a 9-iron and a sand wedge to help him get around because... he used his removable insulated leg cast to carry his beer around with!!!!
AND THE ONE THING WE'RE REALLY GLAD WE DIDN'T SEE...
	"There's no snakes here...it's too hot for them during the day, the water's too cold for them to swim, and we make too much noise for them to stick around..."

Funky Ten! Funky Ten Around the Campfire Offhand Remarks, Rumors, Innuendo, Helpful Suggestions and Some Strange Sights You Won't See Elsewhere!

Funky Ten!
Funky Ten Around the Campfire

Offhand Remarks, Rumors, Innuendo, Helpful Suggestions
and Some Strange Sights You Won't See Elsewhere!