Well, in good old southern tradition, we've tried to combine the southern practice of fermenting illicit hooch by using the local Kudzu crop as the basis for our fine wine.  Here's the legend of the secret family recipe.



Well, Cousin Seefus snot-nosed youngun wandered off into the kudzu patch out behind Seefus' cabin, and didn't show up fer supper, so Seefus reckoned he ought might do sumthin' to keep the kudzu patch from overgrowin' his whole place. 

Seefus done paid a visit to the local stillkeepers, Ernie and Julie-Bob, the Gallows Brothers.  They got themselves a fine little setup down near the river, with a fermentin' kettle hooked up to some copper tubin' running thru the radiator of an '57 Nash Rambler.  Now, some folks might call this a "still", but in the interest of not attracting the attention of the revenoovers, Ernie and Julie-Bob prefer to call it a "large outdoor science experiment."

Seefus called in his gang of cousins from t'other side of the haller, and they commenced to whackin' down the kudzu--problem was, fast as they cut it down, it growed right back up, yessiree, so fast that it almost swallered Cuzn Willie, him being the runt of the litter and not able to run as fast.

They done stuffed the cut kudzu into the kettle, dumped in 50 lbs. o' white cane sugar, some malt to smoothen out the flavor, couple cakes o' yeast and let that sit up a spell to ferment.  Ernie done fired up the kettle to 173 degrees, cooked up the mash, and when the vapor run down the coil into the radiator, it wuz about 2000 proof.  Julie-Bob added some branch water to tone it down some, and throwed in some Grape Kool-Aid fer color, and boy howdy, RiverMadness Kudzu Zinfandel was borned! 
(They never did find that snot-nose youngun, tho.)